drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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