So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Randomize
