I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize