You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
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