her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
