dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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