dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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