So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
