you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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