I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
