She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
you will always have a special place in my vag
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
