no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
