I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Are these your boobs on my camera?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
So. Much. Porn.
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