Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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