The best revenge is premature balding
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
