and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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