the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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