Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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