Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
