Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Randomize
