I need help removing her.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
