the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
