i jhust puked up my retainher.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
thus making me awesome and them whores
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
