I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
