I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
When are your genitals available?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize