I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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