if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
