nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
