I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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