i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
