Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize