I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
