Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
