***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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