Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
