you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
