saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I checked into jail on foursquare
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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