Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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