I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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