How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
