FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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