her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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