I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
