im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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