omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
