NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
