i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
