butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize
