Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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