the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
