That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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