I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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