She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
