...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize