hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
