I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
