He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
