Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
